The ruined intellect?

The repetitive pattern of writing posts only in such odd hours of the day(/night) has become a habit of sorts. Is it because the mind has become so confused and befuddled at such wee hours of the morning that it may lead to do any queer stuff at any time of the day(/night). Or is it because my brain starts functioning only at this time that I feel at my literary best at this time? The latter case surely lacks strength simply based on the fact that such posts really aren’t of any good quality (though the same can be said about the other posts in exactly the same breath). Before I digress from the topic and lament on the continual downslide in my literary skills over the time I have spent at IIT, let me hammer a few more keys on my present state of mind.
I love computers and there is absolutely no doubt against this statement; be it creative designing, movies or simply orkutting, I just love my compu. I enjoy writing no matter what is the subject or theme being pursued. Now the only thing that I can think of, at present, that links both the worlds is blogging; and in that sense this ought to be my favourite past time. However it is not so.

Being in a confounded state, I almost feel like a drunkard, intoxicated to the extent of enacting heroism at any time. Simply put, I am sleepy, though, I really don’t want to go to sleep. Seriously, this has put me in an immense state of difficulty that needs to be resolved immediately. I am not hashing over insomnia or any other sleep disorder that one might just start pondering over after hearing of my difficulty. It is merely the need of the heart to keep on exploring the wonderful features of a compu. Anyways, I hope things smoothen out soon and I am back on track soon. I have got a nice little platform this semester. Minor 1 has gone very good. You have been selected as the team leader of a project team, giving you ample opportunity to prove your leadership skills and management fundas. The only major worrying line is the internship factor that is weighing very heavily on my mind. Hope it is resolved pretty soon.

One more thing weighing heavily is the state of my room. It is in, I guess, the worst condition in my almost five semesters stay in IIT. Hope to set it right soon. Tomorrow (oops…today) I leave for Ambala to celebrate Dussera with everyone. I had aimed to go yesterday however I just slept through the evening when I should have left. Anyhow, today I will try to leave at the earliest.

Shuffling my eyes above, I see the title as ‘The ruined intellect’. Its a question for everyone to answer: has your stay in IIT developed your intellect further to the extent you had expected/aimed for on just joining the IIT? Or not? For me too, the question is wide open. I neither had any specific goals on joining IIT and nor do I have any now. Is my future bleak? No shortlisting in any of the companies that have come so far for interns does point out in the negative. Rest all lies in the hands of the Almighty.

Well I need to fall into a sopor now. The daylight has almost started streaming in on the far horizon. The faint shade of orange gradually beginning to extinguish the darkness presently surrounding me. The tiny sparklers high above in the sky called stars radiating through the darkness are giving way to the bluish tinge spreading all over the heavens. The discrete outline of the trees of my hostel is gradually becoming wispy. The raucous calling of the birds is beginning to swarm through the windows just as the loud thundering din of a passing jet breaks the rhythm of nature.

As I write this, the birds have started flying and the outline of the trees has become much less distinct. The leaves are preparing to expose themselves to the sunbeams just as the orange tinge has filled almost the entire horizon. The heavens above are light blue and my eyes have become too heavy to write further.
Good night and have sweet dreams!!!
(6:00 am)

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so wassup at 4 am?

well right now its over half past 4 . my eyes are heavy , the head is aching a bit, and my mind is all fuzzy but I still don’t feel like sleeping. I wanna do something but I am just too lazy for anything. Where is the enthusiasm for doing work? The lessons learned from the previous semester have all been put on the back-burner while you sit on the comp and have a blast of a time by getting your eyes all fucked up, and your brain accumulates dust all the while.
Well yesterday that is friday, was a pretty good day as I got the first test result, and I scored pretty good considering the fact that certain people with a better GPA scored worse than me. I know it is just a one off thing and in the other exams they would just blast me off into extinction, but whatever the future, that day made me happier.
However, the very next day was the day of GDs and PIs for internship next summer and boy, I was not even shortlisted for the GD (i guess my CG is too low). Also one guy, a very good friend of mine, got the final call in HLL (excellent!!)so I am pretty happy for him especially since now he is out of the picture for other companies and being a good friend, he would help in applying in other companies.

Today I just relaxed the whole day long. Watched a couple of movies- Ice Age I & II. Both were really excellent. I had been wanting to watch these movies for a long time but finally, today I did watch them. Besides the awesome animation, the screenplay was great too. The characters were truly fleshed out like any standard good movie. They were just not about good animation adn screenplay but also the messages they conveyed through out the movie. The qualities of friendship, hatred, team effort, leadership and a lot many others; along with raising concerns for world problems such global warming etc., were beautifully blended together to directly touch the heart of the audience.

Another really good movie I watched recently was Lage Raho Munnabhai. I truly haven’t seen such a nice humorous movie with a very strong message throughout the movie. Gandhigiri, the principles preached by Mahatma Gandhi, is still a very potent weapon in the hands of mankind that could lead to a much better society. Emotions too were heavily strewn all along with my favorite scene being when Munnabhai gathers all his courage to say sorry to Circuit, and then how they finally hug each other. Awesome dude!

Life isn’t so simple however. Though many of the fundaas presented in the movie are quite practical but who would lead the herd is the question. The solution to bribery as shown was to strip yourself in front of everyone to embarrass the corrupt official, however, I personally don’t think that anyone would really do such stuff. May be a really pysched out oldie might just pull off such an extraordinary fundaa.

I feel really let down today. I feel that it is me who has let myself down. I think I must be the worst case of a person got bogged down by peer pressure. Forgetting all what my elders tell me to do everyday (though knowing that they have far more experience than anyone else I know), I tried to go against them by doing stuff what my peers did; even if it didn’t fit in with my image. Well I don’t really know what has gone wrong or what is right. Also I don’t even wanna think about such stuff. Thinking mostly doesn’t help. Consciously or unconsciously I know what is right; so I need to just work hard, be sincere and dedicated to the work be it studies or extra-curricular activities. Just hoping that things would turn out good for me in the end. Om Namah Shivay.

The child labour ban: is it worth it?

I was just browsing through the International Herald Tribune online edition and I went on to read an interesting article on the new law banning child labour in homes and offices, to be effected next month. To be more precise, from 12th October. Most of the article dealt with questioning the utility of the law at present, or to be more accurate, it dealt with how the government has failed to come up with a pragmatic approach to solve the problem. The government has failed to study the finer nuances of the problem of child labour. It is not a minor hitch that could be solved overnight – just pass a new law, blink and yo, the crisis is over. The roots of the problem lies in the poverty that still prevails widely in the lower echelons of society and how the recent economic progress has failed to penetrate the thick middle class layer. How does the government plan to accommodate the thousands of freed children, their education and their upbringing?
It is not about just freeing them from the hard labour they have to go through, while children of the same age as them but from higher classes are going to school and enjoying their freedom, but also about thinking of their future. Why would their families take them back when they have no money to support them? Does the government plan to just free them and put them on the footpath? And this question itself arises if the law is implemented to its core. What about the rise in corruption that would definitely occur with the ought to be responsible police officers would charge the middle class families to turn a blind eye to their house? Is the government planning on raids on the middle class homes to implement the law? These are just few of the questions that instantly pop up in the mind of someone minutely interested in the fate of those underprivileged children.
Instead of freeing them, one ought to draft and implement policies that would secure their future in a more binding fashion. There are ought to be both short-term and long-term goals to succeed in this endeavour. The highest priority should go for removing poverty as a long term goal and empowering them to a level where each family is capable of sending their children to school.
The short term goals might comprise of implementing a law where the families in need of a child for house work, should take upon them the moral responsibility of teaching such kids. Another such goal could be doing a national survey and analysis on such kids, the reasons for the child labour and subsequently mold the lessons learned into a long term policy.
The future of India seems bright. With a huge bulging population, the bulk of which are children, the laws and policies ought to be in toe with our long term goal of being a developed nation by 2020. The children are the ones who would take over the rein from the present working class and if they are not well educated and well brought up, it would be difficult to pursue bigger goals in the near future.
Hopefully the government does have plans to back up this child labour ban with some concrete programme to eradicate poverty and illiteracy, the bane of all ills plaguing India.

Confused or just speaking my mind??

On going rapidly through my previous post, I was a little confused in the end. Sometimes I had written in second person and sometimes in first person. At certain points, I was just writing abstract statements and some where, I was as concrete as I could be. Does this mean whether I am speaking my mind or am I just confused and don’t know how to put my ideas into writing. I certainly hope its the former case.
Or probably its because its like 3:30 in the night and I am damn sleepy but just don’t feel like leaving the comfort of my computer. It is just so solacing and soothing to the tired nerves. Though right now, I am feeling drunk but the background music and browsing the net doesn’t allow me to turn them off and jump into the bed.
Love you mom and dad! You are the epitome of everything good that I can imagine. I miss you very much. Dad, hope you are enjoying your stay in the States. Awaiting your return.
Hopefully tomorrow will be another day. Good night!

Is the ordeal over?

Yesterday the minors got over. The difficult period of one week when one has to put all his efforts on just magai for a change got over yesterday however the question is : have you got over the ordeal? For me, the answer is definitely a big NO!! Its not about having huge workload just after the minors but the pain that I went through in this period. All those things that the seniors like Tayal used to tell me in the first year are coming true and are blantantly hitting hard at me. Am I not good enough to hit a 8 sg anytime now at my stay in IIT? I really hope I am wrong.
Anyhow things have just stayed more near the troughs than at the crests for the last month or so. Actually the worst thing is the magai part. I am just not doing enough. The process control course is really going from bad to worse at the moment. Todays quiz really dealt a big blow to my confidence of doing good in this course. I really need to buck up myself and be confident. On a little more thought, I think confidence has been the major problem for me till now. I have lost faith in my abilties, my talent, my physique and on the whole in my whole self. Is this justified? However, the point is not to linger in the past but to learn from it to build a better future. You are what you are. Different ideas have been drilled into you for the last twenty years and during this period those ideas have metamorphosed into what you are. It is not easy to change that. However, I need to learn from my past mistakes and get on with life. Believing in yourself is one of the biggest things that you need to learn.
The most important problem at hand right now is to get an internship opportunity abroad. I need to really put in my whole hearted effort in that. Next most important thing is Library. Think of new stuff. Fire up your imagination yaar.
Writing all this really relieves a lot of stress. Things are not actually that bleak as they might seem to someone reading the first couple of paras of this post. The BSP money, the Sanyogita problem that had been dawdling since February seems to be finally getting to an end. Your computer is running almost fine. You are communicating more with people though not as much as I would like. Things have started moving in the english department. I am interacting in the hukka course and hopefully I would start thinking about my body (some sports activity) from tomorrow.

The most important conclusion to be drawn is good time management. In the last two years, this is why I have missed having a much better profile right now. Though I am not complaining but the thing is that I should learn from that and have better time management now. There are numerous things to do so just concentrate on them. No yabbering for now (well, reducing it is more of a priority). Actually time management is the thing that distinguishes a stud from a usual IITian. A student who is able to manage his/her studies along with his/her extra-curricular activities definitely gains an upper hand than the one who concentrates just on one thing.
keep rocking nmg!