Yesterday the minors got over. The difficult period of one week when one has to put all his efforts on just magai for a change got over yesterday however the question is : have you got over the ordeal? For me, the answer is definitely a big NO!! Its not about having huge workload just after the minors but the pain that I went through in this period. All those things that the seniors like Tayal used to tell me in the first year are coming true and are blantantly hitting hard at me. Am I not good enough to hit a 8 sg anytime now at my stay in IIT? I really hope I am wrong.
Anyhow things have just stayed more near the troughs than at the crests for the last month or so. Actually the worst thing is the magai part. I am just not doing enough. The process control course is really going from bad to worse at the moment. Todays quiz really dealt a big blow to my confidence of doing good in this course. I really need to buck up myself and be confident. On a little more thought, I think confidence has been the major problem for me till now. I have lost faith in my abilties, my talent, my physique and on the whole in my whole self. Is this justified? However, the point is not to linger in the past but to learn from it to build a better future. You are what you are. Different ideas have been drilled into you for the last twenty years and during this period those ideas have metamorphosed into what you are. It is not easy to change that. However, I need to learn from my past mistakes and get on with life. Believing in yourself is one of the biggest things that you need to learn.
The most important problem at hand right now is to get an internship opportunity abroad. I need to really put in my whole hearted effort in that. Next most important thing is Library. Think of new stuff. Fire up your imagination yaar.
Writing all this really relieves a lot of stress. Things are not actually that bleak as they might seem to someone reading the first couple of paras of this post. The BSP money, the Sanyogita problem that had been dawdling since February seems to be finally getting to an end. Your computer is running almost fine. You are communicating more with people though not as much as I would like. Things have started moving in the english department. I am interacting in the hukka course and hopefully I would start thinking about my body (some sports activity) from tomorrow.
The most important conclusion to be drawn is good time management. In the last two years, this is why I have missed having a much better profile right now. Though I am not complaining but the thing is that I should learn from that and have better time management now. There are numerous things to do so just concentrate on them. No yabbering for now (well, reducing it is more of a priority). Actually time management is the thing that distinguishes a stud from a usual IITian. A student who is able to manage his/her studies along with his/her extra-curricular activities definitely gains an upper hand than the one who concentrates just on one thing.
keep rocking nmg!