so wassup at 4 am?

well right now its over half past 4 . my eyes are heavy , the head is aching a bit, and my mind is all fuzzy but I still don’t feel like sleeping. I wanna do something but I am just too lazy for anything. Where is the enthusiasm for doing work? The lessons learned from the previous semester have all been put on the back-burner while you sit on the comp and have a blast of a time by getting your eyes all fucked up, and your brain accumulates dust all the while.
Well yesterday that is friday, was a pretty good day as I got the first test result, and I scored pretty good considering the fact that certain people with a better GPA scored worse than me. I know it is just a one off thing and in the other exams they would just blast me off into extinction, but whatever the future, that day made me happier.
However, the very next day was the day of GDs and PIs for internship next summer and boy, I was not even shortlisted for the GD (i guess my CG is too low). Also one guy, a very good friend of mine, got the final call in HLL (excellent!!)so I am pretty happy for him especially since now he is out of the picture for other companies and being a good friend, he would help in applying in other companies.

Today I just relaxed the whole day long. Watched a couple of movies- Ice Age I & II. Both were really excellent. I had been wanting to watch these movies for a long time but finally, today I did watch them. Besides the awesome animation, the screenplay was great too. The characters were truly fleshed out like any standard good movie. They were just not about good animation adn screenplay but also the messages they conveyed through out the movie. The qualities of friendship, hatred, team effort, leadership and a lot many others; along with raising concerns for world problems such global warming etc., were beautifully blended together to directly touch the heart of the audience.

Another really good movie I watched recently was Lage Raho Munnabhai. I truly haven’t seen such a nice humorous movie with a very strong message throughout the movie. Gandhigiri, the principles preached by Mahatma Gandhi, is still a very potent weapon in the hands of mankind that could lead to a much better society. Emotions too were heavily strewn all along with my favorite scene being when Munnabhai gathers all his courage to say sorry to Circuit, and then how they finally hug each other. Awesome dude!

Life isn’t so simple however. Though many of the fundaas presented in the movie are quite practical but who would lead the herd is the question. The solution to bribery as shown was to strip yourself in front of everyone to embarrass the corrupt official, however, I personally don’t think that anyone would really do such stuff. May be a really pysched out oldie might just pull off such an extraordinary fundaa.

I feel really let down today. I feel that it is me who has let myself down. I think I must be the worst case of a person got bogged down by peer pressure. Forgetting all what my elders tell me to do everyday (though knowing that they have far more experience than anyone else I know), I tried to go against them by doing stuff what my peers did; even if it didn’t fit in with my image. Well I don’t really know what has gone wrong or what is right. Also I don’t even wanna think about such stuff. Thinking mostly doesn’t help. Consciously or unconsciously I know what is right; so I need to just work hard, be sincere and dedicated to the work be it studies or extra-curricular activities. Just hoping that things would turn out good for me in the end. Om Namah Shivay.


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