My mindset evolves at a rapid rate. Or better to say changes. I am usually dissatisfied. I heard on Mad Men that dissatisfaction is the seed of ambition or something on those lines. But are we all not aiming for a happy and satisfying? Or is this a cycle? As soon as we get something we wanted for a long time, we want something else. Never happy with anything.
One of the questions that surprisingly puzzled me today is ‘why does light travel at a constant speed’. I mean I understand it is empirically observed but why and how? Like, how can the photons only travel at an absolutely fixed speed? There are so many magnetic waves etc around the environment – not a single photon gets affected by anything and speed up or down by a single nanometer.
Well I am sure there is a good simple answer to that somewhere. Or maybe we as humans are just limited by what we know so far. There could be ways to speed down the light and use it for other applications. Just a random thought!
The change will not be instantaneous. I need to develop a habit so hence I will blog every day for atleast the next 21 days and hopefully continue to be regular beyond that as well. Again, it is not that I am not capable of hard work or creativity. I just need to focus myself.
Planning is the key – I always forget this. I dream of something and time just flies by without me doing anything as I don’t have a concrete plan of action to realize my dreams or aspirations.
What would make my life easier? A better easier way to iron clothes for lazy people like me. Need to get a larger iron board. A way to process my thoughts in a more structured form. Being able to use this downtime in my life to think big and not just think but also act big. Stop talking about people. Discuss ideas. Meet people. Being able to charge phone/laptops wirelessly. A way to monitor my health and have alerts on deficiencies. A smart chip in my skin/blood is definitely the future. Or atleast a very inexpensive way to test blood at home for monitoring my health. It is weird how my idea muscle has faded – I feel it in meetings as well. Like always, forget what has happened; think about how you can get back on your feet. You cannot change the past. Now I am not going to suggest an idea to go back into the past to change anything. Atleast not physically. Maybe a psychological way to travel into your past and adjusting memories to get back on your feet. Our life is anyways a movie with projections of our memories and not real experiences.
Who thought 20 years back that we would be able to have video chat capability at such an inexpensive format? Holographic technology would be the future. Wearing one of those lenses, one could travel and be in another place mentally. Imagine that for couples having long-distance relationships. That would be incredible.
What do I want to be? It is tough being almost 30 and not being excited about what I do on a daily basis. I should be grateful for being in a role that most people don’t have at my age but it is not about comparing to the other folks at Pfizer. I am smarter than them – I work less than half as hard as they do and still manage. I need to be working tremendously hard at this stage of my life. Not just doing the best in my work but also exploring opportunities outside.
I need to develop habits to build myself again. It is not like I haven’t done things before – I have been creative, hard working, smart, reader, writer and ambitious before. It is mostly putting my mind to it. With so much freedom and independence, the drawbacks of being a procrastinator get significantly highlighted. I just need to get back on my feet again.
Last couple of years have been a mess. Two years back, I was doing great. I was in a healthy relationship and despite being busy, I aimed for doing MBA. It still fucking hurts like hell but I had to move on from that phase of life. Crushing both my personal and professional aspirations with brutal blows.