What do I want to be? It is tough being almost 30 and not being excited about what I do on a daily basis. I should be grateful for being in a role that most people don’t have at my age but it is not about comparing to the other folks at Pfizer. I am smarter than them – I work less than half as hard as they do and still manage. I need to be working tremendously hard at this stage of my life. Not just doing the best in my work but also exploring opportunities outside.
I need to develop habits to build myself again. It is not like I haven’t done things before – I have been creative, hard working, smart, reader, writer and ambitious before. It is mostly putting my mind to it. With so much freedom and independence, the drawbacks of being a procrastinator get significantly highlighted. I just need to get back on my feet again.
Last couple of years have been a mess. Two years back, I was doing great. I was in a healthy relationship and despite being busy, I aimed for doing MBA. It still fucking hurts like hell but I had to move on from that phase of life. Crushing both my personal and professional aspirations with brutal blows.