“Being sad is not always bad”,
screams a title of an article in the Sunday Times today. When you are down, you are not happy with the situation and hence try to improve it, says the article. Now, 9 times out of 10, I would never read such an article. I take pride in the fact that such moral-boosting articles and self-help books are for the meek, coward people. And I still do.
However, this title caught my eye during a time when nothing is seemingly going right for me. Now I know, I resort to blogging whenever I am feeling low, and today is no exception. In fact, its much worse than ever before. Last week was what I can easily consider to be one of the worst times of my life. Earlier, whenever I would feel down, I would search for the bright spots still holding true for me; but this time its different. Wherever I search and look, I see darkness.
Now, the worst thing was failing to secure an internship this summer in BR. From being in a situation of never having heard of BR, to a time when I knew so much about BR and the finance field, that I was just so pumped up to land this position and carve my career. This goes without saying that there have been numerous positives that have come out of this enriching experience. I have understood a lot more about the outside world; as well as , more importantly, a lot more about my own self. What I want to do in life, still remains a question no doubt, but things are much more clear now. However, the fact remains that I failed. It was a challenge, and I had worked really hard to prove myself worthy of the position. Till today, I am still not clear of the reason but it hurts to know that I failed myself.
Apart from this internship thing, my brain has become really cluttered these days. Things appear very foggy and I am not being able to think clearly. The increasingly dry and hot weather is not helping my case, and I have become extremely lazy. Even with lots of work to do, and lots of time at hand; I am just not pushing myself at all.
What I probably need is a different perspective of life in general. When the chips are down, one needs to just all the more hard for things to fall back into place. They just won’t fit in by themselves. I just hope I am able to do what I am thinking and pull myself out of this doom asap.
I can do it!!