Fear again clouds my mind

As the fear of the upcoming minors again burdens my mind, the head swirls around frantically aiming to get a grip on the amount of hard work to be put forward. A couple of seconds of serious-minded thought process feels like eternity that is followed by, at least, a couple of hours of thoughtless and careless activity on the computer.

A few minutes back I had a short chat with my brother who is working in the States. I was telling him about how we celebrated dussera at home this year; when my mind wandered to the uneasiness I felt during the function this time around. This dussera was special since it was my first Bhabhi’s first dussera. At our place we have a long pooja and it was kinda new for her. She liked it. However, now and then, whenever I would smear tilak on a bhagwanji’s forehead, I felt a pang that she could not do the same plainly because she is a female. Such situations cropped up again and again (maybe just I was paying more attention). I popped up the question to the elders; however bluntly told that there are festivals like Karva Chauth, Hoi etc. that are meant exclusively for the women; and activities in festivals like Dussera and Diwali are supposed to be carried out chiefly by men.

The present discussion does in no way signify that I am a feminist. Nor am I saying that I am an anti-feminist. I would not like to take any sides but just contemplate at the status of women that stands today. It is “probably” all fine and good for the generation of my mother, chachis’ and taijis’; however for the next generation of women like my bhabhi such a blunt relegation to the background in important household matters won’t be taken politely, I think. Though it goes without doubt to say that my bhabhi is such a nice adjusting person that she would not raise a racket for such a issue; but it just hurts me to think that she might have developed a negative opinion about our family; a family that I thought was above any gender bias.

I am neither in favour of nor against any further women empowerment through law. More likely, I am bent against any further women empowerment as with the present pace of the world and growth in status of women, I am sure that very soon (in fact today itself), they are walking shoulder to shoulder along with men and such minor issues of religious activities won’t really matter.

Anyways, I guess I am plainly wasting my time pondering over such matters. The dengue is spreading fast across Delhi. There is an acute shortage of clean drinking water in IIT leading to a sharp spike in the number of students falling ill. I am having a bad headache and it feels as if there is a piece of some hard metal stuck just above my eyelids. I know that my eye muscles are weak and to ease them I have to sleep longer hours than usual. I need to exercise them and more importantly sit for lesser hours on the computer. In spite of knowing all the right things, I am not carrying them out. There are the fast approaching minors to worry about too.
The screams of ‘kick’, ‘kaun hai ye’ etc. zoom through the corridor outside as I keep myself strong enough not to play counter strike. Well hope I am able to do justice and get good grades this sem.