For the bad times only?

I just realized that I wrote just one post in 2013 – probably the happiest year of my life so far. That too – only about Nadal. It is funny how I use this blog only to vent my frustrations. Happier times does not remind me of this blog. Maybe I am not a good friend. I have doubted my values a lot over the last few months. I need to believe in myself again.

Live again, but better!

Things have not turned around in the last few months. I pushed away my mind and tried to listen solely to my heart for one final attempt. Though a couple of weeks again raised hopes, they were dashed down as quickly as they rose. I feel very numb and trying to push myself out of the current blank state of mind.

I feel on auto-pilot (or rather like a zombie) most of the day. Work is routine – keeps me busy. Though there are thousand other things that keep me occupied – stock market is the big new interest, along with SimCity. Netflix TV shows and documentaries are always captivating. Quora is exciting with new ideas and thoughts from people like me that are very engaging.

Success stories come from perseverance combined with stumbling to the right place at the right time. There is no way of correctly identifying the future but one can atleast try to stumble. Life at ZS was starting to get saturated and boy, am I glad to atleast cross the hurdle of leaving my first job. Frankly, I was scared – it is not in my blood. My dad worked for just one corporation his entire life – right from graduation till he retired. My elder brother is also working for the same company for the last 8-9 years. So switching jobs is definitely not in my dna. Anyways, I am glad that I finally switched over to Pfizer. It wasn’t my first preference but I currently feel it was a good move. It enables me to leverage my past pharma experience but at the same time, positions me to work with brands and learn much more about building and growing brands. Definitely more exciting than my work at ZS – atleast it promises to be so far.

I need to learn much more about the brand – through rep-rides etc – but hopefully I can gain sufficient experience from the much more experience folks here that I can leverage in future. I have to be on the product side – some folks like consulting but I am definitely more comfortable as the client.

Very soon, I need to start exploring outside opportunities – ideally a pharma/biotech startup. That is where I can truly make a bigger and more meaningful impact than Pfizer-like huge corporations.

Other than work, stock market has opened up huge learning opportunity for me. More than the money going up and down, it is so exciting to be invested in the growth of a public company. Just reading and understanding the financials and basics of what drives the stock market is incredibly insightful – it drives the economy that in turn drives the world.

Next I need to pen down my thoughts about what the future could look like. Dream again Nikhil!!!